Subway

Until recently, the word “Subway” most often conjured up images of fresh bread, deli meats, and that annoying guy Jared. It reminded me of going to our local franchise as a child, where Lina always cut a tube through the middle of the bread (remember when they used to cut the bread that way? I miss that!) and stuffed our sandwiches full of the best processed meats and thawed veggies that money could buy. Today, the word “Subway” summons a much different image - one that I wouldn’t necessarily want to associate with my lunch or dinner, but one that isn’t wholly negative either.

In my opinion, the New York Subway system is an absolute marvel. It is awe-inspiring, disturbing, and confusing all at the same time. I can’t even start to comprehend how it was built, or how it works. Sometimes I wonder what holds the city up, considering most of it is built over miles upon miles of Subway tunnels. But, the tall buildings stand and the roads don’t cave in, so I guess that’s all that matters. And for the most part the subway system works really well: it is normally the fastest way to go from one part of town to another, and it is much, much cheaper than taking a cab.

One of my favorite things about riding the Subway is people watching. The trains attract an eclectic mix of characters, people I fear I would have missed seeing had I moved to Austin or Minneapolis or Miami. Like the tranny I saw last weekend that looked like an older Tina Turner (I know: hard to imagine her even older, but I’m telling you it’s possible!) or the man who was wearing a grass skirt, flip flops and nothing else. Hey, it was a warm day – I think it hit 47 that Thursday. Not to mention the woman I saw carrying 34 balloons, a bunch of cotton candy, and a pony on a leash. (Okay, you got me there - she didn’t really have all of those balloons!)

Of course, the Subway does come with its down sides. Like the smell. I’m not sure what it is, but there is a certain Subway stench that exists that is unique to New York City. It doesn’t tend to be as bad in winter, but come summertime it’s difficult to ignore. The fragrance seems to be a mix of urine, feces, rat sweat (those rats really sweat!), body odor, and garbage. I often try to keep a small scented candle in my pocket that I can pull out and put up to my nose on days where the smell is truly overwhelming.

There are also often things that you see on the Subway that you wish you hadn’t - like the man I saw pull down his pants and vacate his bowels at the 50th street stop. That was truly disturbing. It was enough to make even the most jaded New Yorker turn his head, and to cause some not-so-jaded New Yorkers to leave the station completely. I felt bad for the WASPy tourists from Colorado; I have a feeling they booked a flight home that very day and will never come back.

But that’s the thing about New York. It’s real. It’s gritty. It shows you the best and the worst of America in split-screen views – the super-rich right next to the devastatingly poor. It serves as a good reminder that we still have work to do in order to eliminate poverty in our country and to deliver on the American dream. But I figure that if we can figure out how to move hundreds of thousands of people a day via underground/underwater tunnels, fixing the poverty problem isn’t beyond our grasp. Right?

Goldilocks and the 547 Jobs

This one was too tactical. That one had a crazy lady. The other one didn’t pay enough. Finally, though, after months of searching, I have landed a job that’s juuust right. I now understand how Goldilocks felt – what euphoria she must have experienced at finding the porridge at the right temperature and the bed at just the right level of firmness. It’s as if all of the stars have come into alignment and are smiling on you from above. It’s lovely. But it takes some time to get there.

Anyone who thinks that looking for a job isn’t a full-time job in and of itself is diluted. I spent hours refining my resume, grappling with major issues like whether it was Arial or Lucida Grande that said the most about me as a candidate. Not to mention the lost nights spent massaging each and every word on that silly piece of paper, asking myself, “Should I say managed or coordinated? No, I think it’s best to go with led – that’s definitely more clear.”

Add to that the stress of interviewing and it’s no wonder the unemployment rate is skyrocketing. I mean, who has the energy to go through this process? You show up at the office on time, after running three blocks and barely missing being run down by a bus, only to find that the person interviewing you is running 20 minutes late. And when the interview finally starts, you have to feign an interest in the interviewer so that they think you’re likeable. “Oh, you have a toy poodle?! I love toy poodles. In fact, I was one for Halloween last year!”

By the time you finally make it to the meat of the interview, you’re being asked questions like, “If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?”, and “How many red cars cross the Brooklyn Bridge every day?”. Um, what?! My most memorable experience was when a hiring manager told me, two questions into the interview, that I wasn’t qualified because, “I don’t want to hire a boy. The last boy we hired f*&ked us.” How do you over come that objection?

So, it is with little remorse that I leave the job hunt behind me. It’s been an interesting and at times entertaining process, but one that I don’t hope to repeat anytime in the near future. On Monday I start work at a large advertising agency just two blocks from my apartment. It’s truly my dream job, and I feel incredibly fortunate to have landed it. I guess it pays to try all of the porridge – you have to wait for the one that’s juuuust right.

Thanks to everyone who has supported me during this process – I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it!